Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
Some girl next to me in class is making a list of whta to pack for spring break & it was a normal list until she put birth control in all caps w/ stars around it
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I may or may not be taking a bath listening to the Phantom of the Opera. This lovely moment brought to you by xanax.
I'm in this weird masturbatory haze making onion rings. If you want to come over we can eat these suckers and play TF2.
Why don't we hang out more often?
I'm gonna take off my shirt and spin it around my head like petey Pablo so u can find us
My reasons for going are selfish. She just opened her own law firm. I figure having a lawyer as a friend is a good idea. Nothing in my life suggests I won't need a lawyer again.
You just can't come from being "the girl who shit her pants."
Do you deliver to the black dark pit where I am? I think it's called.... The toilet? Right next to hell...
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
well apparently i was just calling everyone cunts. then i awoke from my blackout to 3 very mad roommates who didn't bring a key out with them
watched my neighbor eat five yodels, mow his lawn, and then cry on his porch after the party... what did you give him?
Are you trying to say I've made an emotionally well rounded transformation similar to the Grinch?
So what other shows do you masturbate to? Or is it just friends
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