I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
Dude ! Why is there vomit with whole pieces of sushi in the shower when the toilet is not more than 2 feet away ? btw you need to chew your food better,
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
Should I give the penis ring toss game to good will or garbage
well what is some mechanical horse racing with out blow involved
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
Bisexual Viking-cowboy hybrid is at the bar again
Dibsssss
Update: it wasn't just our driver. This ticket confirms that the Royal Oak PD also found our behavior on the party bus to be "Lewd and Indecent."
So I was thinking for Halloween I'd do Dr. Jekyll and Mr. Hyde....for my vagina.
I asked my boss to leave early for a booty call. She said yes. See.... everyone sees it's important I get laid.
Naked chocolate chip pancake making. I just spilled mix all over the place. My boobs are covered in flour. This is not going well.
I was on the verge of being completely over him and then he went and made his Instagram not private... ITS LIKE HE KNEW
New low: eating a buttered roll while taking a shit.
This is why we're soulmates.
I haven't felt more like a college student than when I woke up this morning naked with my sociology textbook in front of me and my bong in my left hand.
she was all excited about us being eskimo sisters and then i was just like "alyssa i've literally been inside of you" and she got even more excited
Randomize
