I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
i have to start hiding my credit card when i drink i woke up this morning with 4 emails from Farmville telling me i spent over $800 on coins last night
it's too soon in the relationship to think about him when i masturbate. so i think about his dad instead.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You act like pregaming preseason hockey is a crime. Come on man, get fucked up and watch pucks. It rhymes so well it has to go together. DOS EQUIS Y DEVILS!
I was up all night on suicide watch. Dave was wasted and tried to strangle himself. With his own hands.
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I just ASL-ed someone for the first time since 2002.
Kyle's mobile fuck service..... Kinda has a nice ring to it don't you think??
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just woke up. Naked. Under an animal pelt. With a girl. I've never met her. She's pretty naked too.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
Fuck me first. Then we can craft and watch Terminator 2.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
He somehow obtained a megaphone and managed to scare away the out-of-control house party—the house party that HE started, by the way— by pretending to be the police.
You're a FUCKING ASSHOLE. Love mom
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