You flung your panties at that guy you liked with an accuracy that I have never seen before.
i wish peter jackson would direct porn
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
i know. thats why i need an open bar. i'll get hammered and make a toast about how his dick is like the titanic. large, but full of failure.
Brought 2 entire pizzas with to the bar, everyone loves us
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
Is it 3pm? Or am I losing my mind because it's pickled in vodka and diet coke?
Welp I just blew a load probably the size of a small pond if not a lake
Who the fuck is this
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
She had an asthma attack and had to stop but insisted on getting me off. It's official she's the one
I think I got a sinus infection from puking out my nose on st. Patricks day #thisis26
He asked me if I've ever had my ass ate and there was no polite way to say yeah your brother's pretty in to that 😂 I went with "no"
When campus security rolled up he stole their car and drove it like 100 feet. Then he walked up and gave back the keys because it was a hyundai.
How high are you rn
Well I just ate a cheesecake straight from the box with a fork and now I’m laying upside down in a recliner chair seeing if I can Uber eats Doritos
So not that high
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