covered in glitter, my cheek hurts, and theres a handprint on my face. Would i do it again. Absolutly
In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
the date was going great.. until he pulled down his pants and asked if there was any hair in between his cheeks.
I just want you to know I tipped the cab driver $10 last night because I felt bad that he didn't have healthcare.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
I really like you, but I want to get to know you on a time when I am not at drugs.
I used his computer to order the pizza and the only thing he had in his search bar was 'text NASA'
You blacked out and then went around stealing other peoples phones and leaving yourself voicemails
I got two from random numbers, the first was me and said "Don't forget you murdered Josh in Wii Bowling"
The second Jenn said "You are ridiculously smart for drunk dialing yourself"
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
I find it fascinating that she'd be more comfortable with her mom finding out she submits dirty disney confessions on tumblr than about her secret email account she uses to chat with dutch and brazilian strangers.
I just offered a cat a "drinky drinky" I'd say my night has started
Everyday this week I have woken up to a different dick pic. It's like a dick pic a day calendar!
Okay, but that still doesn't explain all the glitter in my puke.
Just made a drug contact standing in the sandwich line in the dining hall. Is this real life?
You're my fucking hero.
i just realized i have only had sex on couches so far this year. i can't decide if that's impressive or trashy
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