Made out with me girlfriend while she was peeing. all time high, or all time low?
I jsut got pulled over and passed the sobritaty test.
Good thing spelling doesn't count.
he asked me to eat out his asshole. after five minutes of uncomfortable staring i realized he was serious.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You shouted "FUCK SHANIA TWAIN" and then downed an Aquafina bottle of white wine none of us knew how to react
I'm not even mad. I was just trying to get a boner, you're the one that had to see that
....she made me stop for like 3 minutes so she could talk to her cat....
I think I used my hospital ID to cut the coke last night. I need to swab it for residue at work today.
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I went down on her on the dining room table. That should count for something.
No. I'm sorry but once your "would go gay for" list exceeds five people, you're bi. Get over it.
Don't forget to bring $1s for the strippers. Make it rain!!!!
Thanks, mom, will do
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
So, do I need to remind you to keep it classy tonight?
No, because if you have to be reminded it isn't classy.
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