he said he didn't have a condom.
and you said?
that that's fine cause i was ready to be a mom. yeah - he magically had a condom he forgot about after that.
This is how I know I have no life... Jon and Kate are my emotional roller coaster.
Sarah Palin just quit. Happy Independence day!
God Bless America!
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
doing washington apple shots with my mom. sunday afternoons suddenly got so much better.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Jon thought he was that blonde chick from Three's Company when he was shrooming
Not gonna lie i was comfortable between the allsups air conditioners while you were talking to the cop.
Look at you go. You're like the Slutty Librarian that Could. They should write children's books about you. Children's books for adults.
Well I'm going to San Francisco next weekend for pride. I'm sure I'll end up drunk and on a beach at some point.
Tell the cops to let you through! Tell them you need to do drugs!
I'm developing all these feelings it's disgusting.
somehow a ride to walgreens turned into a threesome.
Guess who just hooked up with a guy who was wearing a shirt from his mom's "dress up closet"?!
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
Randomize
