I'm half single.
Please tell me it's the bottom half.
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
i think the next time he gets me off i'm going to scream bangarang
ru fi oooo
I was born in the year of the cock... How fitting.
All I know is that it's pretty damn mean to put a glass wall in a bar.
We tried to line dance with everyone but it turned into drunken stumbling and attempting to grind on random frat boys. I feel that this might turn into an every Thursday thing.
I just heard a 350 lb guy with a stutter describe getting blood in his eye as he was shanking his cellmate and, more generally, how to survive as a white guy in jail.\n\nYou should really consider going to some AA meetings
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
well at least now you can say you got an STD from the frontman of a band no one's heard of
fuck you.
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
He said he discovered the mysteries of the universe inside an orange... I want whatever he was on.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
By the way can you translate "sorry, she played you bruh" to Spanish? Some Hispanic guy who spoke absolutely no English callled me last night and when I tried to tell him he had the wrong number the response was "como? No no no no...." And then click. He was gone
He's a douche. But I like the way he chokes me.
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
