WTF I just almost got ran over by a fucking cop!!!!!!
LOL you shoulda thrown yourself in front for money. Fucking cops!
Just had to explain to the nurse WHERE I have poison ivy. Great Day
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
Also, I threw up on the playground again. I've honestly had more fun there this past summer than I did in my entire childhood.
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
Will i get arrested If i steal the salvatiion arny guys bell for ringing it to close to my hangover
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
I just saw a stripper light her nipples on fire. Im terrified and impressed all at the same time
I'm not sure what exactly you were planning, but you kept yelling that we were going to need a lot of midgets and a lawyer.
Nah it's alright, I'll just ride cock all the way to hell
Give me 20 minutes.. I'm going to need to start off with an orgasm to get through this day
Help I accidentally unlocked this guy's tragic backstory and I need a rewind button!
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
her and her boyfriend kept giving me coke ad kissing me talking about my awesome boobs
Randomize
