I feel like this woman may give her husband a hand job mid way through dinner. just saying.
My financial aid advisors would be so pissed if they knew I was spending my loan money on strippers
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
When I tried to give you a hickey, you karate chopped me in the neck.
Really stoned me is having a very serious, intent conversation with my mom about egg rolls and koolaid flavors.
Our first order of business as new roommates was to test the sex acoustics of our rooms. I need a new box spring.
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
the second she challenged me to mario kart drinking game i knew i was in love
I'm kinda glad you won't be in Vegas tomorrow because you'd make us go streaking or throw dead animals at them.
My neighbor came out@4am in a pink nite gown n clotheslined a punk on a mo-ped w/her mop handle, then just walked back in her house like she just checked the mail. MILF 1 PUNK 0
Wait, how many people just saw my dick?
you know you need to get laid when: getting wrestled to the ground in a self-defense class turns you on....p.s. this is a booty call
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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