Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
And I just threw up at the table during Mother's Day Brunch.
i literally forgot his name and just started calling him "waffles"
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
finally cleaned my dorm for the first time all year. bleach is awesome.
Does the phrase 'traumatizing near-threesome' mean anything to you.
having my hair in braids makes puking so easy. i am being an indian every halloween
I can hear her moaning. I'm on some random guy's counter. He wanted me to cuddle but I said I didn't know how.
If your relationships aren't working out because she doesn't have a penis THEN maybe you should give dudes another go
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
There's nothing more rewarding than telling you that I fucked your dad
The dogs decided to play a new game called "Who Can Scream the Loudest?"
I won.
Ok, as his sister I didn't tell you this but he's very familiar with pregnancy symptoms. So next time he calls you fat freak him the hell out by asking if your ankles look swollen.
Randomize
