im going to have to ask you to stop vomiting stars, rainbows, and butterflies all over your facebook statuses...
the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
aw he's cute...not in a i wanna rip his clothes off way more of a put him in my pocket and keep him as a pet
And occasionally lick whipped cream off them abs
Exactly.
slowly transforming into a stationary lump of steel. how can you tell me that was JUST weed
i woke up to the sound of my roommate climbing onto my desk mumbling that she was going to bed
drunk doesnt even begin to explain it. he said he was going to get playing cards from the lobby and came back 20 minutes later with a full set of sheets.
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Admit it. It's a brilliant plan with hundreds of possible repercutions.
Understatement of the year.
I WILL NOURISH YOU WITH SOUP AND PENIS!!!!!! And a sandwich of your choosing.......you like turkey?
Six words: 3rd Degree Burn On My Dick
I'm actually kinda upset that we didn't consider velcro-ing detachable capes to our clothes before this moment.
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I almost rear ended this hot guy driving a Porsche Cayenne just so I could get his phone number
Omg dude take a shower. You'll feel like god washed away all the sinful shit we did last night.
Randomize
