I am at a 420 party and i just told a girl "hey, less not getting donuts, more getting donuts"(1-855): and did she get any doughnuts?
No. I am devastated
Pat told us he showed us his penis because he's "a nice guy".
Just woke up. First thing I see: Little brother eating last night's jello shots thinking they're reg jello.
i used baking grease as lip gloss
We just shotgunned beers for America
let's see, i ended up walking for an hour towards a macdonalds that didnt exist, sprinted full tilt into a powerline, and left a 30 dollar tip to a waitress at dennys we made friends with. I REGRET NOTHING
Tried to figure out where I was without opening my eyes this morning for like twenty minutes. Not even close. Not even the right state.
All you have to do is speak. Your voice reverberates strait to my vagina.
I really dont wanna go to a traffic light party. I have nothing red to pretend I'm taken with. Without something red my "my girlfriend is away in the mines" story wont work.
She pulled me up to my feet by my hair. I thought it was you for a second. My drunken angel savior.
I feel like the dump I just dropped is the most successful thing I've done so far today.
We should have a mid-burrito sex-break, too. Just so we don't get too full all at once
Good point.
My girlfriend is so strong now. Like on the one hand its kind of hot because she can pin me down during sex, but on the other hand she picked me up and carried me bridal style at the company bbq.
the police dropped me off. that's how my night went.
It's all fun and games until your mom recognizes your bootycall from 2018 as her attorney
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