i just had 3 doubles lined up on top of a urinal, texting with one hand and my dick in the other. I an fucking awesome.
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
we put on a show in the hot tub for our boyfriends, then climbed out and both got down on our hands and knees and puked at the same time--still naked.
he told me my hair look so beautiful and as he was stroking it his fingers got caught in my BUMPIT. How are you supposed to explain that one?
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
when he was about to finish he told me to avert my eyes and keep my lady parts away. chivalry isnt dead.
random memory from the wedding, the bartender show us how to open the windows of the hotel and pee out of them
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
Your life has no conflict it's just a blur of sex and Netflix
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
I made him dinner in just his cowboy hat and my boots after we did it...you should see his face :)
i bet he makes cat noises to excite himself.
She’s fine. Found her in the bathtub eating Cheerios and watching Rugrats on an iPad.
He's eating me out right now. That's how bad he is.
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