Is it a bad sign when i blow my nose && can smell vodka?
If i could bang her from 80ft away, I would
Do you remember peeing on the wall and then yelling at us to stop looking at your dick?
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
I'm functioning at the level of a challenged walrus.
Can't a girl send out a 4 pm booty call anymore
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
Wow. This hand sanitizer smells awesome. It's like I just gave a handjob to a fruit basket.
He tried to spell out "PROM?" in his cum on my stomach during sex. It was terrible
well did you say yes?
I found your Halloween costume. I think you shit yourself last night
He said he cried as he watched porn yesterday; I'd say he's taking the break-up pretty bad....
Have you seen him ? Seriously. No one is that straight.
I'm just the girl with the breathalyzer keychain, and I embrace that.
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
woke up with 8 used magnum condoms bound together by floss around my neck, thats about all im gonna tell you.
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