Good seeing you too. Don't worry, you didn't miss out on too much last night. We went to a place where there was supposed to be a wet t-shirt contest, but it was more like two ugly girls dancing around on stage in white shirts. Everyone just wanted them to leave so the band could keep playing
Did you dl zombie porn on my computer?
Pretty sure that Albanian broad gave me something last night. Now we play the waiting game.
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
I think I just wrote a poem about your penis but it was totally unintentional.
I just used "et al" in a sext. I thought you'd be proud
I DID MY EXPERIMENTING. FOUR YEARS OF IT. IN HIGH SCHOOL.
I don't trust a bar IN TENNESSEE that doesn't have Jack Daniels.
After a crazy night, morning sex is just trying to find a position where you can thrust without getting seasick.
I like that you're more concerned about how I would find the time to clone you, than the fact that I have your blood.
We kept having to tell you that you couldn't just sit wherever you wanted at Walmart. Sitting in the middle of the raw meat section was unacceptable and children were staring at you.
I need a fucking roommate.
You need a fucking babysitter.
ya I went to the grocery store literally just for cheese and condoms
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
Randomize