there is this woman at the counter who looks identical to linda ellerbee. and she's grinning. COME. INSIDE. NOW.
I seem to have left my pride at pride
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
She told me I reminded her of the fair. And she wanted to deep fry my dick and eat it.
I think I would be able to remember how to smoke but I can't seem to remember how to breathe.
is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
I give you the lube, you make me the mac and cheese, that's a pretty fair deal I think.
she literally hasn't taken the mardi gras beads off in three days. she showered in them. TWICE.
I want her autograph on my taint
Ed's in which sucks about a thousand cocks... But thats 1800 less than working with Alex so it's gonna be a good day
Apparently I really was petting a bunny named lazarus in Jimmy Johns last night.
you said "how could you not want to hook up with me when I have these abs" and then proceeded to rip your shirt off in the middle of the bar. I'm pretty sure you were hammered.
JESUS
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
in honor of breaking bad starting soon, i am now banging a walter white lookalike. viva heisenberg!
You can help me! We'll make an occasion of it. Have some rum, make some smores, condemn the email system to the pits of hell...
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