Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
Lets start the night off early. Those Coronas arent going to throw themselves up.
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
My new dealer is 16. I have been getting high longer than he has been alive.
I don't see the problem
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
Why are we so great
Like I'm def going to a therapist but I wouldn't change a thing about us except maybe the peeing
I love the barter system - he got laid and I got him to bring me some ibuprofen. A win-win really.
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
I woke up in a limo in long Island, Ny this morning. Talk about a black out
Its like your face is a pile of corn and I'm a chicken
...What??
we should get together and get drunk.
On a Monday?
don't discriminate against mondays.
I’ve looked at so many mouse vaginas in the past week
Randomize
