i just heard the ice cream truck outside while mid-masturbation. i stopped and considered running outside to buy one.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
dpoing straight shots of jhameson. boys are imp ressed. i apologize
i just identified you from a description of your pipe
gettin drunk isnt as much fun when i can use my own id for it
I found out what happened to my eye. I punched myself in the face.
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
He chipped a tooth on the first beer. You know the night is just going to be a slushy mess after that.
Sharing a bathroom with a guy sucks. I always have to set an alarm for the middle of the night just so I can take a dump. Poop text btw
It's take your daughter to work day... I really shouldn't be here right now
Only Jon could get an entire commuter train to chant "Ride! Jon! Home!" to get a girl in bed.
She went outside in nothing but her panties and came back inside 15 minutes later wearing a different pair of panties.
He's a drill sergeant! The sadomasochist in me can't resist that.
I have never in my life been turned down for sex until this weekend.
Welcome to my everyday.
Can we skype so I'm not drinking alone?
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