Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
just to let you know coffee and vodka was a bad way to start the day
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
Dude, he sent me a pic of his dick. I thought dating a married man wouldn't remind me so much of high school. Seriously.
Use motel 8. I'll give you my credit card #. i'll pay for it cuz i care about your vagina.
Ill give you a 4 hour blow job if you make my nephew go to bed.
Woke up naked next to Alex and he was braiding my hair and then commented on how healthy my hair was. I don't even know anymore..
Nope. Too hot. We just sat in my tub with cold water spraying on us drinking coronas. This summer heat is killing my libido slowly
He asked me if I wanted to blow his whistle and proceeded to pull out an actual whistle.
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
The irony of the fact that I'm going to be starting my period on Thanksgiving. Something to truly be thankful for.
CyberMonday=Bulk Condom Shopping For 2018
You drank whiskey for 9 hours and did not eat anything.Nothing good was going to come from that.
Randomize
