ok i'm going to motor boat your sister now. ttyl
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
yeah...i noticed he pets people when he's drunk. It's odd.
Either way, he made a blog for his cat.
I had to physically hold you down to stop you from going out the window naked. You put up quit the struggle.
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
all I know is I'm really rwfly really really stoned and a bunch of Korean people are yelling at me
idk. I was on the deck with Dominic and i felt something weird on my arm. I looked down and you were licking my elbow.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
i know you're at the dentist, but this dick pic was too phenominal to wait and i deserve immediate tit compensation
Just watched a guy get through airport security with a full bottle of captain morgan. In my head the entire airport cheered.
I tried to find an emoji but none convey my excitement for receiving good sex soon
Some nights you just end up digging your mcdouble out of the trash and eating it. it happens.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
Randomize
