Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
Where are you???
With some dude on the way to his house to blaze
You went back to a stranger's house????
He isn't a stranger...he used to be on kids, inc.
I love LA.
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
One thing i hate about playoff baseball: George Lopez
lady crackhead wearing pjs and a santa hat brushed the snow off my car at 7am saying "free of charge" the whole time
Kinda wish I banged him. I need the exercise.
He let me keep his flannel as a "good job" for the great head I gave him.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
i can't understand anything he's saying. But he spells alcohol right everytime so i deciphered it.
Bad behavior is like a petri dish that grows organically In my heart
drunk grocery shopping was not as bad of an idea as i thought, this salmon cat food tastes a lot like tuna
NO SHITSVILLE I just saw a homeless dude punch a pigeon that flew by him
Blacked-in to me, shirtless, giving myself finger guns in the mirror and rapping "stacks in the club stacks stacks in the club."
She tied me to the bed and did lines off my chest before sex. I’m going to put that on my bucket list just so I can cross it off
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