you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
Where's the Hot Mess Express headed tonight?
I hope that's not the new nickname for my friends and me.
Im already sauced. Have been for hours. Its kinda my thing.
The worst part of it is that he's not the first man I've fucked with 2+ chihuahua's.
she blew me in the men's room in the restaurant. it was a french bistro, so it was okay
the lesbians just got naked and went into the ocean... this never happened when i was a camper.
She really is something else.
Words cannot describe what though. The best way to describe her is to say it like watching a bear and a whale have sex. You don't know why it's happening or how. But it's rather funny and you can't look away.
Don't know why you're always hating on relationships. I've had chocolate pancakes accompanied by a blowjob and a blunt and it's not even 9 am. Time for mid morning shower sex. Enjoy your morning bong bowl alone asshole
our relationship was basically a one night stand, with a three week long, morning after
A prostitute stole us beer at 3 am
If you think you're having a bad day, know that upon waking up, I was informed that I blew my nose in a piece of bread last night
There is a midget in cheetah face paint on a leash here
It's a herpes check up not a beauty pageant
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
you can see where the duct tape was on my nipple
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