I feel like your standards for women is like rent-a-centers standards for credit.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
Funny favor to ask you... can you ask James to ask Chris if he came in me ? Trying to assess whether or not I need plan B.
I BIT YOU IN THE DINING ROOM. I bit you and you crunched
I've been told that their best stripper is on maternity leave. NEVER AGAIN.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Masturbating during the Olympics and cumming during the national anthem really is everything it's cracked up to be. Just thought you should know.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Where is everybody?
It's pretty much split between the strip club and jail.
I may or may not be drunker than time right now.
i didnt realize that your first thought would be SEXUALIZING BREAD
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