You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
OMFG I JUST SAW SOMEONE GIVING SOMEONE ELSE ROAD HEAD AND THEY HIT A POTHOLE. my day has been officially made.
we couldnt find her phone in the morning so i called it and found it under the bed. my name came up as 'regret'
I woke up at 1pm, looked in the mirror and fist pumped...I might still be drunk
he kept his composure pretty well until he puked on the cop car
We just passed a billboard that said to join "jerseydoesntstink.com" and literally 15 seconds later, we could smell jersey.
To be honest I don't know what's worse, the fact that I interupted their shower sex or the fact that I was so drunk I used the adjoining stall anyway
And then somehow we were arguing over how to fold our arms
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
you said you would race him to taco bell but you slipped in the parking lot and just laid there, crying
Just set up my first threesome: a rapper and a Marine. Pretty sure at least 80% of girls in America hate me right now.
I just looked down and realized I was walking around in briefs and a ninja turtle shirt; and for a second, I thought I was 8 again... Weird...
HE BEAT A GUY WITH NOTHING BUT RAZZLE DAZZLE AND HIS FABULOUSNESS
It true. It written in the Bible.
Yes I remember that, right next to the passage where jesus said unto his disciples, pop molly, fuck bitches amen
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