i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
I don't know how to say this, but I think you're a fucking bitch and the sooner you die I'll be happier.
Sorry- wrong number! :)
my dad is going to jail this weekend
where are we going to get our weed from?
I just discovered cum stains from two different guys on my wall. I don't know whether to be proud or horrified.
I think I've lost the thrill of being a slut. It's just that the newness has worn off, I think.
Is it hot in here? Is the room moving? Its moving. The room is moving. Its spinning like a top. Have you ever been covered in puke? What are you doing?
Tried to ride the mechanical bull pants less, got punched for making out with some lesbians wife, and you tipped the bartender with a can of skoal.
I regret nothing
You know your high, when your chugging applesauce out of the jar with no utensils.
I feel like a cloud. A cloud that wants to be laid.
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
Me my naked body. You bring the paints. I expect to be a panther by game time Sunday.
What do I get.
Panthers win you get to fuck the paint off me.
Tomorrow night, I am putting you In my trunk. No excuses we have waited forever for this.
For 15 minutes straight, he literally did every accent there was, from Russian to Bostonian. The issue: no one could determine whether he was sober, wasted, or anywhere in between
What did you delete my number or something
Oh honey. What makes you think I saved in in the first place?
Randomize
