rolled in at 7am w/ 2 girls i met at the strip club. my neighbor was getting up to mow the lawn before he took his kids to school. i'm 31. he's younger. if given the chance, you think he'd want to switch places?
my cabbie only has one arm...this can't be safe
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
It was perfect I came I passed out in his comfortable bed then a glass of jack Daniels fell from the bed post and spilled all over my face
the easter KEGG...out of a drunken typo there arose a new and spectacular holiday tradition
will barter weed for kareoke machine...
I can't break up with him, I ran the math. Taking into account his 7 inch penis and the standard deviation from average, almost 90% of guys should have a smaller penis than he does.
Really? Penis math? This is why guys shouldn't date female engineers.
While I faked being asleep, he literally prayed to God out loud, asking for forgiveness for losing his virginity before marriage.
You started drinking at 2:30, did you really think you would be able to remember?
Somewhere in this city is a lost rubber penis that needs to find its way back home
She wouldnt stop trying to stick her finger in my ass. I wish she wasnt so hot
He got hotter. I'm offended on behalf of the rest of our graduating year.
I gave myself a charlie horse masturbating this morning. I feel like that really set the tone for the day.
As she came, she moaned Roll Tide. I kid you not.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
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