I just projectile vomited in a Methodist church parking lot. If Jesus didn't love me before he sure as hell doesn't now.
Have you ever been so weak from sleep you couldn't push your poo out?
We just took shots out of seashells. Welcome spring break 10.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
Pissing in la rieve gfox. Jer zsyuis diu drunk but it felt amazunbg
Dans le librearie ivetre. Hjhaha
Aj and I already plan to tape our thumbs to our palms so we know how it feels to be a t-rex.
Immediate regret. She's like a chihuahua on crack.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
The air was thick with penises
It would be like a dance party with a dick inside you. I think that's what Ke$ha wants for the world.
I rolled joints beforehand. Lit a candle. Ghetto rigged taping the 40's on my hands and then lit the joint using the flame of the candle.
I'm so proud of your modern ingenuity
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
After a little too much, I decided public urination was a constitutional right.. Nearly got deported for that one
Brb crying the tears of my youth
He called my IUD an IED, and said that’s why I had bomb pussy.... I didn’t correct him
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