so how much must it suck for him to know that the penis of his best man has been in his wife's mouth before?
She told you broke her computer after the little square in tetris wouldn't rotate for you...
okay. this is james and youre probably never ever gonna see me again unless i really really really want some pussy. sorry.
You just threw your burrito at the passing teenage couple and yelled "It's never gonna last" of course your were a shit show
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
Just from watching vine I come to conclusion that all pornstars are dog hoarders.
She told me she loved my new hairstyle. I told her its called head head.
From what I heard you ordered him to lick your balls. Unless you've kept a huge secret I understand his confusion.
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
I got so drunk last night I took a ice bath with my mother in law
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
Randomize
