let's makeout let's makeout let's make out let's make out
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
I walked in on him shirtless licking the mirror while talking to his reflection. So yes, I definitely want to do shrooms the next time you get them.
I've been here 20 minutes and some creepy old man told me he wanted to know what my insides felt like. I hate gay bars.
I know you're on vacation but you should know I just walk of shamed through a hotel lobby while leaving a threesome on Friday the 13th. Fuck superstition, I win.
i don't know what part of 'duct tape bikini waxes' seemed even a little okay in our drunk minds, but i'm never drinking with your sister again
I bet his dick wears a tuxedo.
It takes a special kind of Adderall to make me go to the hardware store, buy paint, and paint tiny polka-dots on all four of my bedroom walls.
Remember that girl from my stats. class that I ran into at the bar 2 weeks ago? She literally hasn't been to class once since I told her I sit behind her.
Do me a favor and don't mention him I feel like Regina George and I just want to scream I made him
I don't want his dick, I want his flame thrower!!
What's the best way to tell someone that I accidentally wound up in a gay harem?
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I got a lap dance last night from a girl while I was wearing a Captian America onsie. My life does not suck.
You fell asleep while I was sucking your dick
Randomize
