Pants 0. Shit 1.
we sang an acapella version of barbara ann to his voicemail...i'm not drinking again until tuesday.
how do flat chested girls get laid?
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
he asked me to smell his eyeballs.
After giving the pizza guy directions you told him to look for the big stupid looking kid outside in purple
he puked in my glove box, looked up at me and said "There's not much to say"
soo how bad was i last night?
licking sour cream off of the table at pancheros bad.
I NEVER left your party last night of anyone asks.
Yeah, I didn't wake up handcuffed to my bed either.
Make way for the handjob queen! She will grab what she wants, when she wants, and from whomever she wants.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
Listen it's no longer the walk of shame to class when ur leaving the frat house and the brothers ask "when are coming back home"
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I can't control his boners. I can only encourage them.
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