Lets drop out of school and be professionally skinny and drunk
i just heard my neighbor say from outside my window "i don't give a shit what he does, what the hell am i gonna do with my son's penis?"
I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
did u really fuck my little sister???
im not saying yes or no but just know that my answer rhymes with "mess"
He promised he'd be the first bidder on my ebay item if i went home with him. Worth it.
we're ranked number 5 for having the most pot in the country for a university school. idk if i should feel worried or just plain blessed.
My new dealer was watching Space Jam and eating ham off a frisbee when I went over. He's my new favorite person
I have what looks like a rubber stamp mark on my cock from last night that says "Magic Marla Approved" Do we know a Marla?
Is it too early to get staydrunk at 1pm on Friday for Monday's St Patty's day
So you don't take a regular pic with her, but you take a selfie with her ass. Interesting...
We're listening to drake in the middle of the woods and smoking two joints at once...my life is complete.
FUUUCK. sunburned vagina. this is the worst day ever. i'm not leaving my room until it peels.
The adults are the big ones right?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
Look, I am sorry I shaved your cat...but get over it.
Randomize
