i wonder what thom yorke's orgasms sound like
Her sex list was a LOT longer than mine. She tried to justify it by saying '4 of those don't count because they were in the gang bang'.
I am so stoned and my professor is handing out candy. I love Halloween.
Does boxed wine and camel crushes signify a college date? Lets hope so
She compared sex to doing dishes."You scrub them until they're wet."
we need to drink more beer. the fridge wont close.
I just want dates and sex but the option to have that with whoever whenever I want
Right now I'm in a club where they are passing out glow in the dark dildos by the dozen. I don't think my life will ever get weirder than it is at this moment.
You know, we cock-blocked like 5 people last night. It's like we're her vagina goalies
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
WTF I can't even get a boyfriend here and you're getting nudes from across the country
listen I will take literally anything I can get my tiny gay fingers on
I'd like to thank Vicodin for getting me through family thanksgiving once again.
No I'm not high but I did cry for over an hour tonight because I realized that they never made a sequel to "Under the Tuscan Sun" with Diane Lane.
You stocked up?
No actually didn’t get a chance. If you wouldn’t mind bringing me a brownie and a bottle of Jameson that’d be nice
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