So he passed out in the bathroom of the bar, woke up thinking he was somewhere else and called her flipping his shit because he thought she left him. She had to go into the men's bathroom to find him, and then he told her she was "trying too hard to be his girlfriend" over and over again.
Dont they live together now? Havent they been together for like two years?
Yeah. That's the best part. I always thought he was kind of a pussy but turns out he's a degenerate just like us. Welcome
I woke up to the sound of a beer can being opened. I love him already
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Whatever you gave me is making me lactate
ME TOO. Am adrunk madr out qith. White guy. Guy de white. Blanco chico. Chico de blanco
It's all coming back to me. I drank moonshine from a milk carton from a guy named tomohawk last night.
WHY DO I WANT TO FUCK EVERY GUY THAT BREATHES
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
I told him finishing at the same time would be a long-term project. Like flipping a house. A sexual house.
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Trust me.. Might look gay.. Might feel gay... But I could snap your neck with my inside thighs bro
How did your walk of shame include a trip to Walmart and how did you bump into the cop that arrested you last night there?
there are LEGIT cum stains on my ceilling. ON THE CEILLING!! you tell me how the relationship was.
i just woke up in my dog's bed, on my parents floor, my outfit on backwards, and a bottle of lube poured down my pocket.
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