i hope S**** or M***** or someone took note of the fact that i was drinking popov like water and could no longer form sentences. i mean, dont get me wrong i had been thinking about boning R*** long before my sobriety left the picture but the number of reasons not to, outweighed the temptation and without sir robert burnett as R***'s wingman, it would have never happened
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
if you really think there are plastic pots safe for the stove i fear for your future landlords.
I jerked off enough times today to safely commit to the fact that im not getting laid tonight
Apparently, we were running around the apartment, singing into pickles, the routinely slapped our passed out friends with them.
Things I woke up with this morning: half a mcmuffin, orange hair, one shoe and a friendly german man. Tequila was a brilliant idea.
I woke up because a stranger was shoving an already lit bowl into my mouth. Spring break is awesome
You're getting spoiled, you better send me at least a side boob pic if you wanna see my dick dressed up as Davie Crockett.
I'm going to try to ignore the homoerotic subtext in that last question...
I got a message from the hook up gods today that it's time to move on. It came in the form of me being shoved in a closet naked and stuck in there for 30 min well he watched boy meets world with his brother.
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
My therapist keeps stopping to ask what 'hooking up' means
ITS ORAL SEX CAROL
I'm tryin a pb and onion sandwich now
Please smoke with me until I agree that sounds like a good idea
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
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