I'm drinking ghetto ass mojitos!
Wow. How can mojitos be ghetto?
Squirt + bacardi limon + limes = ghetto mojitos
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
would you kill someone to have someone deliver pancakes to you when you were high?
i just used a pokemon card to do blow. i need an adult. now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He was so bad, he was dry humping me and his dick was nowhere close to my vagina.
What's the point of being healthy if people still don't want to fuck you?
and then the entire party sang the national anthem a capella around the keg.
One is full of apple juice. One is full of tequila. This is real russian roulette my friend.
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So they found him after the wedding still dressed up in his feather boa and top hat passed out in a bush...
Also I've come to learn that "type" and "fetish" are different things. Apologies for earlier confusion.
How much weight does it take to launch a cat using a trebuchet vs the tension required for a catapult?
I wish you could see all the crumbs in my bra....it looks like Hansel & Gretel got lost in my cleavage.
Did I tell you guys I was bisexual last night? I just had a flashback
Text me some of your sweat
Randomize