i knew she was desperate at the point in which she started showing me her naked pics on her phone
he said he wanted to butter my pancake. i thought it was sexual, but he went downstairs and made pancakes. i need to stop dating fat guys.
I wasnt that drunk. Throwing the table off the third story was totally logical.
and then she judged me for using my bra as a potholder. hard times my friend, welcome to college.
Next time he asks to wax your nipple while you're passed out I promise I'll be sober enough to intervene.
well I already know I'm going to hell, at this point it's really go big or go home
All three roommates are gay and in women's studies. Ive already been informed that all penetration is rape. This is not the college experience I signed up for.
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
I burned myself with a joint twice in one sitting I have to say that's a new record for the least number of times I have hurt myself while smoking.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
He had to put his grandma's photo away before I tied him to the bed. She doesn't need to see any of that.
All I've done today is nap, eat candy and get off from my vibrator. I didn't know it was possible to be THIS single.
Sometimes you wanna cuddle and sometimes you wanna get blown in the bathroom.
After we had sex he gave me a thumbs up... fucking A&M Aggies, man
Yeah apparently i called the bartender a "fucking prison warden" after she took my keys and called me a cab
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