do you think he would believe thats it not really my period, and that i ate a lot of licorice?
writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
I woke up with a flask of whiskey and a mason jar full of sausage in my tux jacket. south georgia is where i belong
I love how understanding people are when they hear we first hooked up getting high and watching nature shows
And then like 10 minutes later they were taking a bath together. HOW DOES HE DO IT.
is it just my freshly shaved vagina or is the guy at the end of the table pretty cute??
When's a good time to tell your boyfriend you've slept with his ex girlfriend?
It took him 5 seconds to cum and then he wanted to hold my hand all night
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
High enough to ask the woman at best buy if she ever feels like she's swimming. and telling the man outside that he smells like happy juice.
im at work. we just had a random 14-year-old amish girl come in and gift us with cinnamon rolls as thanks for letting her use the bathroom. i dont even know.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
I just wrote my resume on the same park bench I got felt up at in freshman year of highschool... I've truly come full circle
I'm eating pizza in the bathtub
That guy I hooked up with in new york last 2 statuses are "I'm going to be a father, it's a girl" then "wow syphilis sure does burn" I'm legit scared... What has my life come to.
Randomize
