He disabled his match.com account in front of me
Saw a Delta Zeta recruitment poster today. On it, somebody added, "All you need is your daddy's credit card and a lack of self-respect."
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
I don't care if the man pisses on teenage girls, he's enchanting.
My dealer's mom died on christmas eve. Is it too soon to see if he's holding?
thats the 2nd threesome ive been accused of this week
Do you think if you have sex with a girl twin, her twin brother feels it to? Woke up at her house and they both have a look of disappointment on their faces.
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
Can you bring me some underwear? I feel uncomfortable going underwear less at a Remembrance Day ceremony.
He called me 'pal' while complimenting how well I took his load on my face. I've officially been fuckbuddy-zoned.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Note to self: make sure the door is locked before the handcuffs go on.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
It's 1:37. You have 23 minutes to get your dick to the bar before I go home with the bartender... tick... tick...
Randomize
