Milquetoast, coolest word ever.
he's wearing our apron and eating a pb and oreo sandwich. and calling the oreos "topless" since he took their tops off...
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
A girl at the bar is wearing green body paint instead of a shirt. Where are you?!
He used the expression "my couch is your couch" as a come on line.
When did I go from having sugar daddies to being one? And does it count as a tax write off?
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
If tits could talk, mine would be bragging
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
But there's never enough margarita money.
This is going to be one of those situations where we lose a day, isn't it
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
Update - might be back in your neighbor's good graces. She liked the framed photo I gave her of me on the tractor with my business out.
My bed smells like the plague
You are a genius and a whore.
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