he was so hot that i framed the used condom. it's not trash, it's art.
my shit smells like andre
His glasses broke on the way to the bar aNd he ended up talking to this butterface all night. I didn't have the heart to tell him
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
No, he went to go get condoms. The least I could do was chug two beers before he got back
WHY DID I INFORM THE ENTIRE BATHROOM I DONT HAVE AN STD?!?!?!!
Swear to god you say cuddle bunny one more time and honest to god I will sacrifice a bunny on the hood of your car
he's like watermelon oreos; I know they're gross and weird and I shouldn't like them, but I can't stop eating them because they're there.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
it's like i'm making a family tree of tunnel buddies for my vagina
Omg this place. I'm at a neighborhood party. My mom has kissed two other moms. Where am I
YOUR VAGINA IS SO CUTE IT'S LIKE A LITTLE MACAROON
Tbh.. I hope he still watches our sex tapes so he can be reminded of what he's missing out
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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