xbox live and facebook are tricking me into believing I actually have an active social life
69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
we've started having sober sex
you really do like him
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Is it weird that I want your dad to go down on me?
I love having a vagina, its like having the keys to a city
and she was grinding on the wall, purring at guys she liked at the pregame...
this kid woke up on our hotel floor and doesnt know how he got here
on my way back.. me and that kid will be great friends
I told him "thank you for wearing a turtleneck yesterday, I no longer have a strong erg to have sex with you. " He is no longer speaking to me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like i could break down a fucking wall with this boner
Soooo, coming over soon?
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
I think it's starting to become crucial that I find a companion for my vagina.
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I'm gonna buy my dress an hour before wedding. You know, just to make sure it's gonna really happen.
T'would be a shame to waste that open bar though. They shouldn't do that to us. We've been having to pretend we're happy for two people who got engaged a week after they met.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
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