I am going to fall madly in love with a ginger, marry the ginger and have lil ginger children running all around town. Oy
You shut your mouth
I thought at least he would want to exchange numbers after he tried to put it in my bum
It was everywhere, it looked like he just took the leftovers and threw them around the bathroom... Festively...
Well it went from being a hug to a straight out tackle through the back door.
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Hey Im running from the cops. hiding in a bush. when you're approaching the intersection honk the horn twice and I will come out.
I'm basically a mama hen. I keep them warm and let them wonder around the house. not to mention, I keep eye on them just in case the falcons around the house try to snatch them away.
I don't even know what to say right now
I was like a migrating bird last night. Navigating on pure instinct. Don't remember how... but I made it home.
There is not enough soap in the world to make me feel clean after last night. Im gonna need jesus for this one
She ran from her surprise party screaming "I'm not ready for an intervention." Yeah, the girl has a problem.
the bartender goes "wow its so good to see you sober" and gives me a hug
OH MY GOD REMEMBER ALL THAT I LOVE NEW YORK I DVRED BECAUSE I JUST DID
It might be the most honest thing I've ever said. ...or I've had 3 vodka tonics.
What a weekend. It started with me realizing i might not be straight and ended with me spraining my foot.
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
