Dude i fell asleep inside of her
thats awesome
talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
I wish you wouldn't refer to your breast milk as "ammunition"
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Those people having sex on the beach kept looking over at you guys throwing his shoes at the seagulls.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
Yes... I'll kill two birds with one crazy ecstacy filled night.
Out of everyone here, the sober one caught the cat on fire.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
I just watched videos of people getting puppies and crying, I cried too. Definitely still drunk
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
Can't talk, ducks in the car
I just want orgasms and emotional validation. Is that too much to ask?
You were laying next to me in bed at 4:30 a.m. I asked if you were drunk and you said you weren't drunk you were buzzed like a bumblebee. Then kept rambling on about having to call out of work.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
