I'm in a cab, in a strange city, and my driver looks like he's going to eat me. My facebook password is **** I want you to have the one thing I hold dearest to my heart.
im letting my talent of no gag reflex go to waste
i had a headache and asked the kid next to me for aspirin. he gave me esctacy instead. gotta love college.
He said my breasts were God's way of making up to him for all the shit he's had to endure in his life.
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
just had a flashback of you pouring champagne into my mouth from someones balcony..
he stopped during sex, told me i smelled like McDonald's and went harder..
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Absolutely. I could drink and smoke that memory away in a matter of years at my current rate.
I sang "A Whole New World" while I took his virginity
That is awesome that you did that.
I feel like we should build an island for girls that have committed atrocious numbers of unforgivable sins. We'll call it 'whore island' after the anchorman fashion.
Stumbled across a pregnancy test in my closet. Oh, the freshman year flashbacks..
well, you know. whores of a feather.
I ask him how he's going, like life and stuff, and he responds "20-0 pats"
Watch out for the bush at the end of your steps. it comes out of nowhere
Randomize
