wouldn't it be funny if when girls shaved their vaginas, they gave them sideburns?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
it took me 2 minutes to realize that it wasn't HER hand on my penis. First, and worst threesome ever..
You should get a handy in the street again, just to prove you've still got it.
this girl is like a spa retreat for my dick
Mym mom just came downstairs as I got ghome ans I'm trying to act SO CASUAL as i stabdh here hut icant help bur be like 'girl where's ther Turkey sandwiche s' haahaa
I literally need you to talke care of me soooo9o9oooooo drubj gril makin a sabdwiche. SO far its judst bred and paper towel...
I made him say "i realize i'm cheating on my girlfriend" five times aloud before i would hook up with him. Somehow that has to lessen my bad karma
Things i learned at work today: do not put mayonaise on a tattoo, it will get infected.
Way too stoned bro. Was laying down on my back and thought for a good 30 mins what it would be like to be a turtle stuck on its shell
I just had some kinky fun in the back seat of my car behind a Ralph's in south county. How's your thanksgiving eve?
I'm trying to get weird tonight. Like I want to see bitches crawling on all fours drinking milk from bowls and shit by 5 am. You down?
get your sex hands out of my capn crunch
you are singlehandedly the most cursed object the universe ever conceived
"WHAT IS THIS LESBIAN MADNESS"
I fuckin love you!
I would reciprocate the feeling if i knew who this was.
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