His pick-up line from last night: "I bet you cant climb these stairs right now." Needless to say.. it worked.
i no longer feel bad for not doin my schoolwork. im watching a porn in french. this MUST qualify as studying.
oh, i've got big weekend plans. on an unrelated note, do you think viagra will work if the guy is roofied?
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
Trying to convince myself that everyone keeps staring at me because I'm pretty and not because of my hickies.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
if it looks like there's being an exorcism being performed you know your doing something right.
You were so stoked after landing that flip that you dropped acid with three random guys without hesitation
I need to reevaluate my stance on weekday hangovers...
I pour the whiskey from now on
Gonna try and have sex in the empire state bldg, will tell you how it goes
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Lesson Learned: It's not a party until someone pisses their pants.
just threw up in a gas staton parking lot in front of a father and son. stared them in the eyes and finished like a boss
I need you to know I’m weirdly very sexually attracted to Charlie Puth now
Randomize
