If you could channel this insane talent for stalking you'd be a great weapon for this country. If you had a crush on Bin Ladin, guaranteed he'd be found, monitered and tagged within five days.
She highfived me after i yelled "I'm the clit-commander!" when i came. kevin smith fan and clearly a keeper
OMG THIS GUYS LICENSE PLATE IS GETTNHRWET
she was puking into the toilet drowning herself saying "its okay im a swimmer"
You were so trashed that when you dropped your fruit rollup on the floor, you just sat next to it and cried.
just taught 3 girls from korea how to fist pump on chat roulette.
Dude he's your dog he doesn't love me more than you. I'm just like that cool uncle that takes him to burger king and to see girls.
He made me cum 7 times AND I nearly drowned him during that 69 in the back of a ford focus. Yeah I should get my gynocologist.
I fucked him on my yoga mat. Then we wake and baked and ate granola. So yes, you could say I found my center.
Woke up and took my pants off only to realize that I was wearing my shirt from last night as my underwear
I wanted to say "you're a souless cunt" but in a nice way. So I added a smiley face.
I want you to know. From the bottom of my heart, that you are a great friend, a beautiful person, and one of my favorite people in this world. But if you ever send me that many messages again at 4am I swear to God, I will push you in from of a fast running rhino
How much weed should I buy my mom for her birthday?
I'm so stoned. We're making Josh's sister bake us brownies. She's so small and pixie like. Her brownies make me cry tears of happy.
Is it too early to start looking for freshmen penises to corrupt with our liquor and yoga pants?
I was just wondering the same thing! Gotta be any day now
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