You know you want to come over later
1:27a: Um no
1:45a: Maybe
2:05a: Probably
2:38a: I'm outside, let me in
A girl just told me I should smile because I was surrounded by hot girls. I told her that clearly beauty was in the eye of the beholder. And she slapped me!
So, how was the dinner
Just like the ex wife, cold, fatty, and expensive.
I spilled a beer on myself, so I went back to my place to change. The city marshall was at my door with a warrant. That beer cost me 760 bucks.
His health insurance plan WILL NOT cover Lasix surgery but it WILL cover 100% of a penis enlargment operation...
And PS thanks for calling it my "sexual liberation" and not "slut fest 2010: part deux!"
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
He's yummy.
HE'S GAY. AND 40.
Irrelevant.
The last party at your house was a sex toy party...it's an obvious transition to baby shower
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
I JUST WANTED TO GET SOME MOTHER FUCKING TACOS I AM SINGLE AS FUCK TACOS BRING PREOPLE TOGETHER OKAY
I miss my bedroom and my bed and being able to spray myself with my choice of 15 different perfumes so I don't have to wake up to the smell of my past sins
Thanks for ruining my life with your man penis
maybe you should have closed the porn before you gave the professor your computer to hook up to the projector?
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