its not stalking. its research.
so she asking me "is it okay to have dangling labias?"
a hangover this bad deserves a feeding tube
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
i should teach a seminar on how to fall off the wagon
Don't let her tell you any different. She licked the balls of my hamster for that $100. It was a group bet. She won.
...if you're living vicariously thought me, that was a great blow job you just gave in the B&N parking lot.
Not much. Some creepy guy on Grindr thinks he knows who I am and where I live. So I sent him to that place with jockstraps and bacon. Hope he has fun.
I round house kicked her emotions in the face
I already tell everyone in my office my bf is at the Naval academy. It slipped one time and I can't go back on it now
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
my drug dealer is also my eyebrow lady. Two birds, one stone.
I haven’t taken my socks off in over 36 hours. I should add that to my bumble profile.
Dude... this pee is not alleged
YOU SAT ON MY LAP!
Wuddup pee lap
Dry spell is over and now I’m drowning in a river of dick. The dam broke and now half the dicks in DC are trying get in my skirt
It’s a glorious dick miracle!
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