I have the worst wedgie. Seriously. Its horible. And there are people everywhere around me.
Slide your hand down the back of your pants and shift to the side slowly
...are you coming on to me?
Just had perfomance review. I was told the best example of my integrity was when I told my boss I was going to fail the random drug test due to my weekend coke binge. She said that took a lot of character.
She's okay as an interesting car wreck. But as a sexual object she's funny
So... he formspringed me a link to every nude pic ive taken since he 8th grade. ive evolved nicely. but im nervous as to how this a website.
The venue for the new years party is close to the hospital for obvious reasons.
The sun is gonna brush it's hairy dick across my forehead in the morning, gently whispering: "you're 4 hours late for work"
You may be in san diego, but I just watched a guy in a wheelchair sing walking in memphis for karaoke. Check and mate.
Taco Bell. She just parked, got out of the car mid drive-thru, ran to the dumpsters, pissed, then ran back and drove up in the line.
Yeah I remember doing the worm in my moms room. While she's yelling at me and I'm making seagull nooises
I have poison ivy on my dick
WHAT
My breasts were aching with rage.
He told me to take off work and bring a bathing suit. If this doesn't involve six flags hurricane harbor or sex in a hotel pool I'm going to be disappointed.
Don't be the guy that has his dick out at work.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
drinking vodka out of a wine glass to feel a little bit classier about myself.
Randomize
