the can pyramid on my head actually reached a decent height before I moved.
ONE NIGHT STAND. You have 27 minutes before the offer expires, so I suggest you hurry.
I hope he didn't notice that my shirt was inside out when I told him I didn't have sex with the guy. Kind of a dead giveaway.
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
I hope you realize, I'm counting on you as my wingman next semester. It's your turn to advertise another man's penis. I did my tour all freshman year.
I feel like my uterus is decaying in my body
Singing high school musical songs with an old Russian woman I met on the bus. What are you doing?
Due to your tardiness, I'm saving you my tab
I feel like our relationship should have moved on from you constantly asking if I'm gay
Oh you know..Chillin with your dad.
With a fannypack full of drugs.
I got back from work this morning after working the night shift to find an NFL player scaling the side of our apartment...from your window. He just took sneaking out to all new level. Care to explain?
I think that about sums it up, actually.
Welcome to Missouri, the show me your genitals state.
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
Amazon is not showing any promising results for penis tree toppers and I am genuinely surprised. Clearly this is a market that needs to be addressed.
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
Randomize
