You blewit but ill be back in laekciew tonigthso calll mee
just did a line in a complete hula outfit off a chick in a devil costume. do you think hell will be this good?
Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I'm trying real hard to keep it on the DL how drunk I am at lunch with my grandma.
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
There's a girl at 7-11 apologizing for her behavior and asking if she can get her shoes back.
We're doing a case race on Saturday.
I'm in. I'm currently drinking a beer in the bathtub so I guess I can consider this "practice" and not just "alcoholism"
I don't even want to think about the kind of person who would shit in the street before 10pm on a Sunday.
There's a black statue of liberty dancing on the side of the road. Please hold while I join him.
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
Tomorrow may or may not be a problem cause i'll be wonder woman for a halloween party aka i'll be fucked up & try & jump off of shit thinking i can fly
He couldn't get his dick hard. So he started yelling at it. " EVERYONE is laughing at you, you piece of shit no wonder you can't get pussy" i wonder if that happens frequently I'll try again next weekend
I was looking for a pen and I stumbled upon my mom's vibrator. On a related note, yes I will be going out tonight.
my extended weekend of being as irresponsible as possible started with blowing the bartender in the bar bathroom. off to a good start.
You sent me a pic of you peeing in two separate directions
and like half a dozen dick pics
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