Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
Is sexting at a funeral morally wrong?
I added "don't hook up with boys with girlfriends" to my new years resolution and realized how sad it was that it made me actually feel like a better person
i have no feeling in my penis or fingers but i think it was worth it
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Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
Blood and glitter go together right?
Thank you for making it possible for me to get laid while having peace of mind my dog is well taken care of.
She's on her way over to shave my year round sweater vest into a festive argyle sweater vest. Keeper?
Did I get stoned on a sunday afternoon and speak to someone on the phone for an hour about cats and their behaviour? Glad you asked. And yes.
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But the Super Mario beer pong table is more than appropriate.
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
Overall a good night - broke my toe giving that cop a blowjob though...so there's that...
I left my parents and ran through the airport. I was like I'm not getting stuck in Atlanta tonight and not having sex.
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
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