you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
And you just kept trying to fit through the dog door and not drop Jello shots.
I don't think I'm emotionally ready for this blow job.
Chugged a beer while being walked to the bathroom by campus police to pour the beers out.
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Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Dude. When are you coming home? I'm laying in bed watching the Grinch and trying to pet a cat that I'm not even sure exists.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Found my ex-boyfriend's money stash. Call the girls, we are getting fucked up tonight, my treat.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
Last night when we banged she had nothing else on but socks that said 'property of Jesus' on them.
At least he's enough of a gentleman to not make me do the walk of shame dressed as Santa.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
I met up with trey last night. He whispered in my ear "I love you" then raised his voice and said "but not in a I want to marry you kind of way, but if you died I would cry."
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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