I wasn't on board with that statement until "home made dinosaurs"
Just watched a fat girl on a scooter run into the back of a bus head first
You are the luckiest man alive
She told me I should be a condom model.
Is there a word for someone who only has sex with NFL prospects?
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I cannot take someone's straight and gay virginity in one threesome. It's just too much responsibility.
I'm not considering your visit a success until we've fucked every cock in the ethnic rainbow...between the four of us we should have it done by x-mas
Oh I already celebrated valentine's day. I stayed up until 4 AM listening to biggie, drinking rum, and caressing all my girl curves in front of the mirror. And then I came 3 times.
I decided I'm going to give him a celebratory fuck for his accomplishments. Knocked on his door, handed him some condoms and said "I'll be over tonight with sex and booze"
I want to be you.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
He held the kayak still so I wouldn't tip over while projectile vomiting. If that ain't true love, I don't know what is...
Matt's offering to breast feed it.
I made out with a guy because he ate a grape lollipop and he tasted delicious... not my proudest moment.
I cried at the bar for 30 minutes because I got my arm stuck in my sweater. I got free drinks for the rest of the night after the bartender helped me.
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
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