I was to big spoon the shit out of you right now
I'm so hungover and dru,k
You screamed 'pound me, you big thick stud.' I looked around for porn cameras.
Shut up. I did not.
I really wish I was making that up.
Just took a celebratory "i havent slept with anyone in this bar" shot. yesssss....
He passed out while I was riding him, and just when I was about to call it quits he opens his eyes and squeezes my boobs and goes Honk! Honk!
I'don't know who your are but its that time a day. Drunk it up. Did you buy a House for goundhogs days?
making an indian outfit so we can be pochohantas and john smith and fuck in the canoe on the night float
If my mom walks in on me masturbating one more time I'm moving out
You'd think the first few times would have been enough
I hooked up with a lesbian tonite. Top 2 valentines experiences of all time.
He said I gave him the best head he's ever had and I bowed. I BOWED.
watching spice world high feels so wrong yet so right
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Help. I am eating nachos. But I'm with some guy. I need help. I don't know where I am. The nachos were so good. I'll bring them but help me.
I'm like a saiyan, every time I get trashed I come back stronger
And how about the fact that the first time i really truly looked at a guy's dick was in my car. MY CAR. GODDAMNIT!!!
She said "Im going to hug you" tried to give me a hickey then said her life sucks and started to cry.
Randomize
