Until that no good dick sucking whore stays away from my boyfriend I am gonna start blowing all of his friends...
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
when I forget a girls name in bed I ask her her middle name then tell her i'm gonna call her that from now on
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Max was wondering if he could trade you sex for the use of your jumper cables
I went outside for a smoke at 4 and things seemed normal. It's 6 now and the front lawn is COVERED in tortilla chips. WTF?
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
Found crayons in my cigarette pack. I can't help but feel you may be responcible.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
He has horses apparently. I wonder if we could fuck while riding a horse or if that's too dangerous.
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Oh, the accent alone guaranteed a bj. It was when he started drunkenly singing in PERFECT PITCH that I knew I was fucking him.
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