weddingsv make me drug and hornr
dude your cousin who was wearing the skirt wasn't wearing any underwear
gross she's a slut
yea she doesn't shave either
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
I meant to tell you earlier: bad life decision saturday has been moved wednesday this week
On an unrelated note, i found out who duct taped shoelaces to my face
You wouldn't be the first friend to shit himself in the last 7 days
Status Uddate: I lost half a tooth and Alison is taking Amy Grant requests via bullhorn
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
I saw a picture of my dad holding my legs in a kegstand. Town festival=success.
Your vase full of piss was still at his house and he still doesn't know.
He wants to buy me a drink to apologize for sending me a pic of his dick. Welcome to my life.
Can you technically cross something off your bucket list if you don't, per say, remember it....?
must go to store soon wiping with panty liner ugh
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I rocked his world in the back of my car in an overly-lit, heavily trafficked parking lot. Middle age is amazing!
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