I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
im trying not to drink and cry in the same night anymore. i'll let you know how it goes
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
my boss just offered me his leftover salvia im not sure if it was a trick question
I cut myself stripping on your car. Probably a profession I shouldn't pursue
I was just at home taking Vicodin for a week straight. Talk about a vacation.
My walk of shame wasn't complete until I projectile vomited clutching my truck bumper while he just smiled with that look of regret.
I knew deleting his texts was a bad idea and I was right. I just used the last time we talked to help me figure out when I had my last period
Trump won PA by a fucking landslide. If only Cruz hadn't eaten that booger.
This guy wants me to put ice under his foreskin. What!?
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
Hey
Gfdhklhgfxzyuikl$
GODDAMNIT WHY AM I MISSING THIS
You ran up to my room. I was naked. You refused to leave without drugs. I love you.
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