with her its the mind over matter factor, i dont mind and she dont matter
I was just like staring at the lawn boy while singing "You Belong With Me".
I am the king of creep.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
They went to the hospital to try backflips in the parking lot. Be ready for the call
not sure how we got back down, broken rib says we didn't use stairs
the guy in the stall next to me, came in, farted, laughed, and proceeded to give himself some sort of hillbilly pep talk that included the phrase "big pussy".
How drunk are u on a scale of one to couldn't get it up if u had a gun at ur head?
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
I never appreciated sexting until I went to rehab
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
I thought you might think I was an idiot who thought cock rings prevent STDs,
How'd your Tinder date go?
Well, I met his girlfriend...
You've opened Pandora's butthole my friend. There's no going back.
Randomize
