I'm playing musical beds - it's not very fun
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
Just shaved my vagina. It's been so long I forgot what it looked like. You need to come over right now.
Ive been tazing him too get him immuned. He will be unstopable.
please visit steve this weekend, he is getting mature and responsible and shit which scares me.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
I'm pricing out a roll of that wax butcher paper. We fuck too messy and I can't afford to wash them every afternoon.
I got a lap dance from a guy last night dressed as a school girl. Heels and all. His heels got stuck in my fish nets
Hey, I'm 22. I'm allowed to have a sex life and you're going to hear about it.
She just kept roaring and saying Katy Perry had nothing on her. Wtf did she take?
I saw the president of my women in business club at the bar last night...I was gonna thank her for teaching me the business skills to create my own fake to get in... then i decided not
I puked on her cat, I think I should at least buy her breakfast
Girl just left one of the apts upstairs carrying a giant bottle of kahlula and a lunchable.... I feel like we could be friends
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