Jesus can read your poker face... He is not pleased
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
dude they were twins that means they were both only 17
i made two phi delts show me their dicks in less than 30 words! Take that twitter!
After you took the handle off the bathroom door I had to coach the Scottish guy sitting on the toilet, throwing up in his own lap, how to put his pants back on. Yes, I think he won the drinking game.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
come on down! you are the next contestant on the night is drunk!
ALWAYS CAPS LOCK. IS THERE EVER A SITUATION THAT DOES NOT CALL FOR CAPS LOCK? NO.
Sexting? Sexting in caps lock seems rather unnerving.
I WANT YOUR BODY AND I WANT IT NOW.
I rest my case.
Is there a particular reason why everyone is now calling you Butt Doctor?
Of course it may just be the context. A dish of dog food would look lovely next to your breasts.
He named his newborn baby after a character in the Hobbit and that is literally keeping me up at night.
I woke up with a pube in my teeth...I'm disturbed cause we're both clean shaven
Pray for me.. I'm like the lonely vagina in a sea of sworming dicks
My boss walked into my office and gave me a toothbrush and tips for dealing with sex hair. She knows what’s up
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