Broke my phone, have no voice AND I was blackout by 3 p.m...I'm betting I had a great time.
I ride home in a shopping cart. Don't at like you aren't jealous.
I had a dream last night that you and me were eating cheesecake and according to my FATHER I was moaning really loud in my sleep. I seriously have issues.
Just saw a dude hanging out a window upside down chugging a 60 of vodka. This weekend is big for everyone I guess
It's only been a week and i've already broken my no summer randoms rule twice.
Dude, this guy showed up with a 40 and stayed for two days. I want that lack of responsibility
i just wanna get shit faced and pass out in some random holly bush with a bucket on my head and stockings for shoes.
It was awful. Mid hookup he started reading the titles of the books over my bed, which were about Russian imperial history. He then started asking me questions about the class I was reading the books for. I was like "WE HAVE TIME FOR THAT LATER, PLEASE CONTINUE."
I can feel your movements against the shared wall we are leaning up against. It makes me feel as though we are one. Queue Pocahontas song...
why am i naked
you took off your clothes at the party and some guy took them home
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
god dammit I AM NO LONGER PUTTING UP WITH YOUR HETEROSEXUALITY I QUIT
There it is. Caramel-coated dick. Someone is getting a yeast infection later.
I just want to smoke weed and be the little spoon all winter. My modern day hibernation.
He said they were his favorite shoes.. So I threw one down the sewer. Now he'll keep searching the house for the other one. Sweet silent revenge.
Randomize
