do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
I just found a 1/2 inch of mimosa in my shoe.
You should get more absorbent shoes.
just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
You had already cockblocked me. The cops were just an assist.
Just hide your weed in your baby brothers shirt. TSA wont check a baby, thats fucked up
He's trying to row the canoe up my front yard like he is Lewis and Clark.
I hope no one at work will be able to read the "who wants body shots" on my chest. I forgot about it.
Aside from the fact that there's a penis in my mouth, that's a pretty good picture of me
he belly flopped onto the beer pong table, and almost boke his face, so at that point we decided swimming would be safer for him.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
Well the good news is ill probably have my new boobs by the time he sees me naked
I'll pretend I don't know she's blind, my morals claimed the back seat in this adventure.
I just had to ask my drug dealer to "keep it simple for me". Is this a new low?
We've done worse things
Randomize
