just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
I asked you if you were ok and you said "dude I'm fine, I'm in the recovery position"
Remember that foreign guy who never talked last night? He just came out of my bathroom when I woke up.
Maybe. This hangover is made of nightmares and that thing from the Alien movies.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
Captain Morgan didnt let me down when i stand up it feels like the world is trying to hand me rainbows.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
I just realized I donated our bong to goodwill.. RIP Kimbo Slice
You suck, She hit so hard.
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
We were getting fries and you hopped the counter and yelled "WELCOME TO GOOD BURGER HOME OF THE GOOD BURGER" and threw up
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
We get up to three toppings. Dignity is not one of them.
This should be illegal
It is
I mean more illegal... I shouldn't have this
Randomize
