It was at that point the crowd that gathered realized i wasn't getting arrested, and passed the sobriety tests. I got a standing ovation from 25 strangers
You know if a vagina was a face, it'd be ugly as hell...
don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
So...AT&T finally added picture messaging for iPhone...bring on the tits!!!
Just got my econometrics book in the mail and started flipping through it. Our Thursday parties may turn into u convincing me not to kill myself.
Just accidentally pinched my dick between two 50 pound dumbbells while doing shoulder shrugs. God hates me.
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
As payment for all the times you have babysat me while im drunk, im giving you the shorts i stole from the guy i stayed with on friday night. They're clean. Come get em.
after she pushed someone down the stairs to get more vodka we lost her for a while and found her on the pole in the garage pouring water on herself
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
I broke my heels and ended up on a random party bus where I passed out after a brief stripper pole incident.
he's dressing as a chick for halloween. of course i'm gonna make him get his legs professionally waxed. how is this even a question?
I may or may not be setting up an encounter with a foot fetishist just because I'm curious.
We aren't doing Shrooms tonight bc that would be friendship cheating on you
I don't think we should let her have pot anymore. She ate an entire package of bacon half-cooked and screamed that it was al-dente.
Randomize
