Thats not how I planned it, its just the way she passed out
I pooped in a mop bucket.
WTF???
Their employee restroom was locked what kind of customer service is that
So my grandma sent me a doily for my birthday - don't ask why, I don't know. Anyways I put my bong on it, I think it actually classed up the joint.
he started yelling "squirt for me" then his girlfriend knocked on the door and told us to keep it down
i'm not really understanding how she couldn't figure out it was him
You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
Her vagina smelled like chicken
why do you say that
chicken smells like everything
the worst part of it wasnt him peeing on the xbox. it was when he showed me his penis and made a kissy face at me. THAT was painful.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
I took an adderall. This is weird. My eyes are really wide open and I am really good at staring. I've written on 9 peoples walls and updated my status. I am getting shit DONE!
Drunk at ten am watching Californication re runs. Being divorced rules.
Have you ever stopped and thought "I do NOT want to be inside of this person right now. Or ever." Because you should.
Are you really surprised she can't remember? That's like 50 people. I couldn't rattle off all 50 state capitols off the top of my head, you're bound to forget a few here and there
I stopped hooking up with him and ran to the bathroom to throw up. He saw me throwing up and it made him throw up
Well I hate to admit it but at this point I can successfully say i have been pee'd on by both of my roommates.
Randomize
