Any of you guys fuck a 16 year old again? Because our front yard got fucked over high school style.
Dude, it's gettin so bad even my fantasies just wanna be friends.
at last call she tried to get the bartender to fill her flask. when he refused, i had to stop her from trying to pour the rest of her beer in there.
This guy kept running around with a blender giving people shots of everclear and vodka. Best. Toga. Party. Ever.
Someone spilled vodka all over the elevator floor. Bring straws.
nothing says "you're fucked" like watching a movie with the family and a handle of vodka comes crashing down from your hiding spot in the ceiling tiles.
Ummmm you know you're drinking vodka out of a Skittles bag, right?
perfect. if all else fails remind him how anxious he is. talk real fast and induce a panic attack that only I can remedy with xanax.
please come upstairs a drunk asian is lying down n the middle of my room and i don't know him
It feels like I'm being stabbed in the uterus with a rake. That night was totally worth it though. Thanks.
Well I just found the most comfortable way to pass out on my toilet if I ever have to.
Its a good thing to know for upcoming events.
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Cause I'll toss Tabasco sauce in his eyes and yell "Cobra attack" and walk away
I'm more heavily invested in that tequila than you are
I did not pay that kind of money so that It could be hidden. that bra needs to shine in glory so that it can be seen by the world.
Randomize
