She is in my trunk
help help how do i get him away from me should i talk in a robot voice or something
the other night i did but this one wasnt and it was so random. i was hooking up with this boy who wanted to roleplay and pretend to be snakes
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
Maybe my heart is located in my vagina
She talked about nothing but beanie babies for 45 minutes. I'm never getting high with her again.
we are still finding bottels filled with his pee. tom almost drank the one in the frig
I think I am calling out of work due to a hangover. I'm 96% sure there ISN'T tampon stuck inside me.
It's Wednesday. And it's about that time to remind everyone that my priorities from last weekend have not changed moving forward into this weekend.
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Bro you fell face first into the sand and then balled up into the fetal position and yelled help untill I picked you up, no more whiskey for you...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
I think my brain is throwing up inside my head. How do you live like this?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
