I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
Her breakfeast in bed consisted of half a pop tart that I didn't want, and water that I slipped birth control into... Who says chivalry is dead?
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Please tell me why there is some girl tied to our toilet?
Oh my God, that is a gorgeous man. And I wasn't even gay until five minutes ago.
Yes. Amanda is the only option and I want cake so I can sacrifice my vagina.
No shame December is a go.
Girl I love you like I've been drinking all day
im too broke to be in a relationship this close to the holidays
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I washed my sheets. I did out of respect for my previous and current sexual partners.
I'm trying to behave my vagina this week so I can at least pretend I'm honoring the sanctity of marriage
Where you at? Come home and endure this shit show called "The Second Presidential Debate".
After we won that round of beer pong you attempted to swallow the winning ball whole claiming you had the mouth and jaw of a snake.
A snake? I must've been gone...
After that you got naked and hissed at people the rest of the night..
Honestly, I am sitting in my room watching Ciara videos and thinking I am super jealous of how she rides it.
all my friends are getting married and here i am in a committed relationship with rum
Randomize
