I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
NBC reported that a group almost has enough signatures to submit pole dancing as an Olympic sport in 2016...
God I fucking love America.
yeah my mom told me she knows when i come home high because i use my turn signal while turning into the driveway...
i've decided that sluts are like cars. they may look good as hell on the outside, but you never know what kind of shit is hiding under the hood.
you came home soaking wet, and when I asked where your umbrella was, you pulled it out of your bag and were so proud you kept it dry.
Just got a event reminder on my phone to never party with you again.
we drunkly made out in the middle of the street beside the homeless guy playing the flute. Not how I imagined our first kiss.
Normal vaginal pH: 3.8 to 4.5. Of course it tastes like a 9-volt. I could run a potato clock on that thing.
You kept trying to throw the grocery cart off the balcony.
five cans of playdoh and a game of guess whose penis ...
Why is my fridge empty save for a basketball???
He said we would have a beautiful daughter together. That way too much for a one night stand...
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
I HAVE PIZZA MONEY AT ALL TIMES IT'S CALL EMERGENCY PLANNING
NO I WILL NOT SET YOU UP WITH MY TWIN WHAT THE HELL IS WRONG WITH YOU?!? JUST BECAUSE I WONT BLOW YOU DOESNT MEAN YOU CAN STALK HER AS A BACKUP PLAN YOU SPANISH BASTARD
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