well I can't set my house on fire every night
I really like him. That's why I'm having sex with someone else, so he doesnt think i'm a slut.
I wish Denzel Washington would coach my flip cup team..
after he fucked me and not his girlfriend, i told him to be a gentleman and close his eyes as i ran to the bathroom naked. so sweet.
your definition of "gentleman" is so absurd.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Sucks about the cops last night
to be honest when I first looked up I wanted to know who was coming from a costume party..
Is it ironic that the girl with the horse face is also on the equestrian team?
You do realize there's a subtle difference between not remembering your outfit from april 17th of last year vs forgetting that last night you undressed in the street and were grabbing every dick you could reach, right?
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am so sorry for drunk texting you r kelly lyrics
I have the rest of my life to settle down this is totally time for friends and pizza
I gave him a blowjob to kill bill. 2 of my favorite things.
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
I woke up this morning and had to retrieve my clothes from the flagpole, they were using my boxers as a makeshift rally flag for drinking. Yeah last night was a success.
ugh my stomach is so upset-- didn't get a chance to take a violent enough hangover shit at work
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